my interview story

after hearing an audible voice from the Lord to apply to the World Race, I listened and did just that. anxious and so ready for my next move after I lost my dream job, I filled out the application and made the decision to be professionally vulnerable. which for me means that I decided to be honest with my past struggles instead of lying my way through the interview process to only get to the other side and struggle the whole race. 

 

so after I submitted it, an interviewer scheduled a 20 minute phone call interview.  the phone call was originally planned for 20 minutes, and it turned into 55.  

 

I was asked to provide details of the struggles listed on the mental health portion of my application and let them know all about my family life growing up. and while it was easily not my favorite conversation, I was honest. well… mostly lol. 

 

after the uncomfortable, yet needed 55 minute conversation, my interviewer replied with the words:

 

“Yeah just to be honest you probably won’t get accepted. Just to let you know.”

 

… let’s just say. I was crushed. 

 

I took the news like an adult. & then I assured him that I have good references and even gave him my information to speak to my past counselor who has continued to be in my life for the past 4 years at that point.  

 

when we were finished with the call, my initial reaction was to agree and tell myself “yeah, I suck”

 

but my second thought was wait a second… “how dare you”. 

 

Kristin on paper and Kristin in life are unfortunately two separate beings, and he only got the privilege of knowing one. 

 

as that next week went on and I was waiting for the news if I was accepted or denied, I had a new fire lit under my butt. I had to ensure that I do my part on making sure people wouldn’t get defined by mental health, but by their true identity, and then take my feelings of rejection and put them to use  

 

this waiting period was the time last year that I posted this on social media:

 

“7.28.20 #ChallengeAccepted 

 

I wasn’t nominated for this, and I don’t think I even fully understand what this challenge is about. But one thing I do know is that I’m worth posting this picture of myself. 

 

I’m worth the time it takes for people to get to know me and hear my story. I’m worth the friendships I’ve lost, and the family that doesn’t quite understand my point of view. And I’m sure as hell worth SO much more than my struggle with mental illness & depression. 

 

recently some people have questioned, challenged, and rejected some of my battles and I’m absolutely 100% done with the negative and the stigma attached to it. I am worth getting to know even though there are days I hate myself and can’t get out of bed. I am worth someone getting to hear my story even though there are times and thoughts I fight that tell me I’d like to die. & I am worth WAY more than anyone putting me in a box and checking the category that says I’m limited, or can’t impact the world based on my trauma, illness or chemicals in my brain. 

 

done. 

 

 so take me or leave me. follow me or unfollow me. because truth is I’m created and loved by the creator Himself who so very willing died to save my life regardless of the struggles He’d known I would face. 

 

so listen up, it’s time to ACTUALLY end the stigma and believe who you were made to be. regardless of how broken.”

 

 

you can tell how much passion I had during those days, and how frustrated I was that this would be what I was defined by. 

 

however, I bet you’re wondering how this interview story ends due to the fact that I’m on month 9 of my world race, so I obviously was accepted. ??

 

after a reference from my mental health counselor, Ronny called me back and said “she must love you a whole lot, she believes you’re ready and so we’d like to accept you!”

 

yay! officially accepted. ??

 

but unfortunately I took a lot of shame and guilt into the race due to this process and those words that stuck with me long into the race. 

 

but I’ll save that story for another time. ??